I remember that time when . . .

As I was driving home from preschool today, my mind was flooded with memories.   One in particular was very poignant.  I was transported to my freshman year in college.   I had a wonderful roommate, yet she loved to stay up later than I did.  She consistently had others visiting.  At the same time I had a bout of homesickness, though I was only an hour away.  But, I had a tape (cassette tapes were still popular then!)  that my mom had given me.  It was a recording of the program we had when I received my young womanhood recognition.

What I remember most is that she had given a talk and had sung a duet with me.   I don't even remember the exact song we sang.   So, at night I would put headphones on and turn on the tape.   The headphones definitely did not block out all sound, but I found it relaxed me and I fell asleep quickly.   I was so grateful for that tape.   

So, as I was driving today, I found myself wishing I still had that tape.  I cannot find it and I think I may have recorded over it in later years.  I thought that if it relaxed me so many years ago amidst all the craziness of my dorm room, it could relax me during labor, right?   Maybe it could help me relax and sleep when I have a horrible migraine, or when I just have one of my restless nights.   

I'm not sure, why this memory surfaced today.  I am left missing my mom very much today as my emotions are already right on the surface.    People say that time erases the pain.   Well, yes, time does erase the pain, but it cannot erase the memories and it cannot erase the need for the one person who understood me better than I understood myself at times.