Eye of the Tiger

It has been 8 1/2 years since my mom passed away.   While the excruciating pain has subsided, there are still moments where I miss her tremendously.   Most of the time I find I miss her in the little things.  Sometimes the big things, like when my children are born or when I am at wits end with my children and I need her wisdom and calming influence to help me get through a difficult patch.   

Just the other day I found that small moment where I missed her so much that my heart hurt.   I was in the car with my children for just over an hour.   About halfway through the drive I changed the radio station and heard the beginning chords of "Eye of the Tiger."   I first thought it was the end refrains, but was pleasantly surprised when it continued.  I had not heard this song for a very long time.   All of a sudden I was transported back in time.   

You see, my mom had this huge record player.  She would put the records on often when I was young.   The one I always remember her putting on was "Eye of the Tiger."   It seems she would listen to it at least once a day.   Okay, maybe not that much, but it was often.  Sometimes she would place the needle in the spot for that particular song.   Other times she would just let the entire record play.   But, without fail she would crank up the volume when Eye of the Tiger came on.  I think we all learned the words to this song at an early age. This was one of her favorite songs when I was growing up.   

So as I listened to the beginning chords of this song in the car, with all of my kiddos, guess what I did?  Yep, I cranked it up as loud as I could handle in the confines of my vehicle and had myself a trip down memory lane.   And then I found myself on the verge of tears.   It has been 8 1/2 years and I don't feel the stabbing pain anymore.   I just have these moments where I miss her so terribly that I cry.   8 1/2 years does not erase the intense longing to share my life with her.   

Life has changed so much.   We have added more  people to the family.  Some of the changes have required a large adjustment period and 8 years later there are some who still are unsure of the family dynamics as they are.   But the one thing I do know is that my mom is still very much a part of me.  I feel her close.   Sometimes I am sure she is there when I don't think I have the strength to go on.  

What I do know is that I am grateful for the knowledge of eternal families.   I am grateful for the small moments, even if I find myself on the verge of tears, that remind me of the wonderful person I call mom.