The most difficult thing

The most difficult thing for me is to see my child as he is, not as I wish he was.   You see, before I started having children I had dreams and visions of what my children would be like.  My children would be respectful, smart, well behaved, musical, etc., etc., etc.   My oldest child seemed to be everything I dreamed of.  She is well behaved, musical, smart, etc., etc., etc.   She learned quickly to obey the rules.  I did not, and still do not, have much trouble with her.  She is responsible and trustworthy.  
But then I got to my third child, my first boy.   Everybody told me boys were different, they were more rambunctious, they had more energy.   So I was prepared for high energy.  I knew things would be different at my house.  But still I had dreams and aspirations for my child.  I still dreamed of a boy who learned to be respectful, follow the rules, and channel his energy into something productive.   Those dreams seemed to shatter as time went on.  As he got older the energy did not slow down.   The lessons on respect were not sinking in.   He was very impulsive and did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.  I had bottles of syrup, bags of flour, boxes of baking soda and baking powder dumped all over my floor.  My carpets were colored with food coloring.  
It has been just over 2 years since the original diagnosis, and just under 2 years with medication.   I still struggle.  There are things I know will not change.  So at this point the most difficult thing is to love him as he is instead of as I hope him to be.   I know I am far from perfect in this.   I have to work on this minute to minute.  When he doesn't respond the way I want him to I need to remind myself the most important thing is love.