What ADHD means at my house

What ADHD means at my house is not necessarily what it means at another house.  I wholly believe each child is different and all family dynamics are different.    

So here is what ADHD means at my house.

When I clean it is in vain.  It will be undone in 2 seconds flat.
I have two 4yo boys, or so it seems.  The 4yo and 6yo act almost exactly alike.
Things take longer to get done at my house.   My 6yo doesn't seem to want to help and my 9yo gets distracted way too easily by other things.
Organization is not possible in the common areas of my home.
We still have fun.
We still get things done.  (Just not in the time frame others think it should be done.)
We have a different way of dealing with our children than others expect.   This includes turning a blind eye to some behaviors and focusing on others.
Just because my house is an utter disaster right now doesn't mean it is always like this.  We do have a few days (few and far between) where the house is actually clean and presentable.

Now that I have described what ADHD means at my house, I am going to share some pictures to better help explain ADHD at my house.

1.  ADHD at my house means my kitchen table looks like this more often than not.   I leave the room and things get spilled, dumped, and thrown around.   Don't even ask about the kitchen floor.   It is awful.  

 2.  ADHD at my house means that when I pick up movies and put them away it is a mecca for pulling things out and scattering them all over the floor.   Organization is not possible in the common areas of my house.   I try.   But it ends up like this in 2 seconds flat as soon as it is all put away.

 3.   ADHD at my house means books are put on the bookshelf, but the books that don't fit are stuck in a huge pile at the bottom of the bookshelf.  Of course, they don't fit if there is already one or two books on the bookshelf.  

Don't judge me or my children by the state of our house.   I try to keep up, I really do.  Sometimes I am just so overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I need to pick up because my children won't.  Just because the house is a  mess does not mean my children don't help.    Try living with children with ADHD before you judge the state of my house.  

So, ADHD at my house also means it takes longer for  my children to learn the necessary life skills they will need such as cleaning up after themselves.   It is a work in progress.  But we still have a long way to go.

But ADHD at my house also means there is a lot of energy in my home.   There is no lack of laughter, fighting, and noise.   We have fun.   My children act like normal siblings, they get along one moment and are fighting the next.    ADHD at my house means we will never have a spotless home.   But it also means there is no end to the love that we share.  

I will continue to teach my children acceptable behavior.  It will take them longer than you expect for them to catch on.   Understand that ADHD at my house may not mean what you want it to mean.   Be patient with us as we learn with our children what it means to live with ADHD.    We don't have all the answers.   Most of it is trial and error.   Once I feel I have a handle on it, everything changes again.  

Now, be patient with my children because they don't do what you expect children should do.  My children are still children and do not think like an adult.   This is a hard concept for me.   I struggle daily.   But I have more patience than I did six months ago with my children.   Work with my children, don't judge them.   Be kind to my children instead of being angry when they don't meet your expectations.

I used to think I would be able to teach my children, they would understand, and they would follow what they were taught.  Then I was blessed with two children with ADHD and my whole life and perspective changed.