So I normally don't beg. I don't ever need to. Usually my husband just goes along with any hare-brained idea I come up with. That wasn't the case this time though. We just switched out my daughter's twin size bed and her frame is still pretty good. My husband asked what to do with it so I came up with an idea. He was so skeptical and pretty much said it couldn't be done. So I just let it go for a bit. But I can't fully let the idea go. It just festers inside me and makes me itch to get down and dirty with wood, nails, and screws. I want to work on this project so much.
Okay, the other problem has been that every time I come up with an idea like this, my husband, the ever so helpful person he is (and I love him for it!) jumps in and does the project for me. I have clear cut ideas that morph into what my husband sees as his vision for the project. Normally this doesn't bother me. I love that my husband is willing to do projects for me, especially big projects.
This time I want this project to be mine. I want to be able to work on it. I want to feel the tools in my hands.
I told my husband what I wanted. I also told him that I have looked at a lot of ideas and I know how to do what I want. I said that I have a vision in my head of what I want. Here is what some of our conversation (through text while he is at work) looked like. Me: I need you to cut the pieces and I will put the pieces together. Please? Just let me have a project that is mine?
No response yet. Hmmm . . . not looking so good.
Me: I have lots of ideas, most are just pipe dreams. I know I can do this one though.
Yep, I was begging him to not jump in and take over. I want this project. I don't want to go into all the reasons why I want this project but here is a little part. I am finally moving out of a depression that has severely limited my ability to accomplish much of anything. I have been picking up pieces of my life as I go and I've mostly put stuff together. However, I have a lot of dreams, ideas for projects. These dreams never become reality. When it comes right down to it, I have let myself down. I get to the part where I can put a dream into motion and I stop. Fear, lack of motivation, etc. ruled my world at that point. I hate failure and I worried I would just fail at making my dreams become reality. I want to do something, to accomplish something, to feel my contribution is worth something. Also, the sun is shining today, the air is crisp, and I feel good. I am confident in my own abilities today. I know I can accomplish this huge project.
So after I told him what I want to do, and I was specific on what I want his help with, this is his response. "Ok, we can do this."
My heart leaped with joy. I think my step just got lighter. He wasn't skeptical this time. He did not doubt my ability. He listened, and he responded in the affirmative. Yay! Now it is time to get down and dirty with this project. I cannot reveal the project until I am done. What if it really doesn't work? I don't want to embarrass myself here, especially after I had to beg for a project of my own! So stay tuned for pictures and more from this project. I hope to be done soon! Now I just need my husband to come home so he can help cut the pieces so I can start piecing them together.
Now, lest anyone think less of my husband because I had to beg for a project I must say this. My husband has been nothing but supportive of my dreams. He has been supportive as I finished law school, started my own law practice, bought a photo studio, and started as a consultant for Norwex. He has helped me get the photo studio set up in a new place. He was my grunt work man. I have come up with ideas, such as a lemonade stand for props and he has put it into motion for me. He has gathered the necessary materials and he has put everything together for me. I just wanted this one to be my project, one where I could do a lot of the work. I want to own the project. Like I mentioned earlier, I want to get down and dirty with the materials for this project. So, while my husband is very supportive and does a lot of things for me, I am grateful that this one time I will be able to see my dreams become reality. Any maybe, just maybe I can kick this depression in the rear end and send it packing for good!
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